With a bit of imagination there’s loads of food one can enjoy on a diet. Welcome to the unreal meal:
- A Ethereal-egg on ghost-toast
- A Nothing-muffin or a None-bun (served with begone-butter).
- A Fake-steak with zip-chips
- A Ghost-roast (either scam-lamb, sham-ham or missin-chicken)
- Black-Hole Spag-Bol
- zero-belly jelly
- Temporary-tea or con-coffee (minus milk & invisible-sugarballs)
- Calorie-free cream-tea: “Non-scone, unseen-cream & scam-jam”
The phantom food Poem:
Whenever you’re hungry or famished,
and all the food in your fridge has vanished.
Dream up a great feast to consume
with my secret ingredient: Vacuum.
Don’t laugh, its not pie in the sky,
There’s a host aplenty not there to try.
Mix 5ml of noise and with the breeze
and that’s how you make tease cheese.
Put a void in the oven and bake,
and what you’ll get is fake cake.
Kneed faux dough in with the air
and you’ll have an eclaire that’s not there.
One of the best meals to try is ghost roast,
but you’ll need your imagination the most.
You must find a whole pint of blank space,
before you can bow down and say Grace.
But the rewards are really worth the wait,
when the scamb lamb comes out on a plate.
Or if you think you’d prefer paltry poultry,
the missing chicken is one you should see.
And before your mind goes doolally
finish it all off with no belly jelly
If all this is too much to swallow,
Don’t try this last mint –